Again, it’s been a while but I’ve finally found the time to sit, re-read and edit this post that was written, honestly and from the heart on the day we found out that we were expecting our second baby.
Today is 7th April 2018. It’s 9pm. I’m sat on my sofa, in my pj’s with a million things wizzing round in my tiny little brain. Things like, me being back at work in three weeks, Paige’s first birthday, our family holiday in September for my birthday and I’m pregnant. Again.
I hear you all gasp at once, don’t worry I did the same. Then the questions start, How? (well, thats obvious) When? (at some point in the last four weeks) Who? (now come on, really??). TMI but literally, it only takes once! With Paige it took us six months of actively trying and this one, very much has taken us by surprise. And as I’d already started my blog about my first pregnancy and our experiences with Paige, I thought that this time round I could kind of write in real time.
Now we’ve already decided to keep it on the DL (down low) for a little longer than we did with Paige, I thought this could be my outlet for my thoughts and feelings and keeping track of appointments etc.
Well, I hear the questions on the tips of your tongues, what do I think? What do I feel?? To be honest, I kind of already knew. They say you know your body and this being second time round I knew pretty much within a couple of days. There were certain symptoms I started having that were very much the same as when we found out about Paige. The heavy boobs, being able to smell EVERYTHING and feeling very tired. I’d convinced myself that it was probably PMT symptoms and everyone with an eight month old is tired right? Still there was something telling me I needed to buy a test. So walking round Asda (where I work) on Easter Saturday I couldn’t pluck the courage to walk down that aisle and grab a box, surely someone would notice! So I went home and ordered the First Response six days earlier tests and chose one day delivery. We went out on Easter Sunday and I thought surely they won’t come, maybe Easter Monday but not Sunday. How wrong was I? I got a message around 2pm from our neighbour saying they had taken a parcel in for us. Which they delivered when we had gotten home. I hadn’t told Matt any of this, I wanted to either confirm or rule out pregnancy before I told him anything, more so because there was no need if the test came back negative. I told him he would just have to wait and see what was in the parcel. I waited till Tuesday to test as it was just me and Paige at home, negative, no second line, not pregnant. But there was something saying wait a few more days and test again.
So today at around 6:30pm I made my excuses (I’ll run Paige’s bath tonight, I need to pee anyway) and locked myself in the bathroom. Those few minutes when you are waiting for a result to come back feel like the longest minutes of your life. I half expected this test to be negative too, but that second line was most defiantly there, bold, pink, positive.
I put the test back in the foil, back in the box and wrapped it back in the cardboard that it had been delivered in, went downstairs and handed it to Matt. He asked what it was and I just kept saying to him “open it”. It was like some weird game of pass the parcel yet he was the only one playing and got to open each layer. Even now I can’t remember what he said because I was shaking and so nervous but I picked up Paige, gave her a massive cuddle and told her she was going to be a big sister! She obviously doesn’t understand but it felt so nice telling her.
It’s going to take us some getting used to and I don’t think it will feel real for a long time but it’s another chapter to add to our family story.